Written by Dr. Michelle Ní Raghallaigh, Insomnia Specialist, and Neuroscientist PhD.
Can self-compassion actually help your sleep? Let’s explore how this mindset shift can pave the way to better sleep and relief from insomnia.
What Exactly Is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is the practice of cultivating a positive and caring attitude towards ourselves, especially in times of difficulty e.g. going through a period of sleep loss. It involves nurturing self-care and fostering feelings of safety and support.
Picture this: it’s 4 a.m., and sleep seems like a distant dream.
In moments like these, self-compassion becomes your cosy blanket on a winter’s night. It’s about treating yourself with the same tenderness you’d offer a dear friend who’s struggling.
Self-compassion isn’t just a trendy buzzword; it’s a lifeline we can extend to ourselves when the going gets tough, a safe haven we can create within ourselves.
The Science: Self-Compassion and Sleep
An impressive array of cross-sectional scientific studies show a robust correlation between self-compassion and subjective sleep quality:
A large meta-analysis of 9 studies (N = 956 participants!) further confirms the positive impact of self-compassion on sleep quality across diverse cohorts (Butz & Stahlberg, 2020).
5 Ways That Self-Compassion Works Its Magic
- Neurobiological underpinnings: Delve into the depths of neuroscience, and you’ll discover that self-compassion triggers the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, leading to a decrease in heart rate variability (HRV) and cortisol levels. This physiological response effectively dismantles the hyperarousal processes that often underpin insomnia (Rockliff et al., 2008).
- Reduction of Stress and Anxiety: Insomnia is often fuelled or sustained by stress and anxiety. By practicing self-compassion, individuals can alleviate self-criticism and self-judgment (e.g. “what’s wrong with me, why can’t I just sleep, like everyone else?”) common with insomnia, leading to lower stress levels and improved sleep.
- Disruption of Racing Thoughts: Self-compassion disrupts rumination and intrusive thoughts, fostering a conducive mental environment for restorative sleep. It helps break negative thought patterns by challenging and reframing negative thoughts about sleep.
- Enhancement of Self-Acceptance: Accepting one’s sleep difficulties without harsh self-judgment promotes emotional resilience and a self-soothing mindset conducive to reduced anxiety and better sleep.
- Fostering Healthy Habits: Self-compassion encourages nurturing self-care practices, for example maintaining a regular sleep schedule and creating an enjoyable, relaxing bedtime routine.
Practical Self-Compassion Technique for Better Sleep
- Take the time to get as comfortable as you possibly can, perhaps using pillows and blankets; sense how well your body feels supported. Nestle into a cocoon of comfort!
- Place both of your hands over your heart or stomach area, as a tangible way of showing compassionate, loving awareness towards yourself.
- Offer yourself words of kindness and compassion, such as “I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m doing the best I can.” Or perhaps: ‘I feel safe’.
- What is it you would really like to hear? Repeat this word or phrase to yourself, in a tone of voice that is gentle, perhaps with a sort of inner smile on your face.
- Notice when the mind wanders and gently bring your attention back to the present focus, like a loving shepherd guiding wayward sheep.
Self-Compassion Ideas:
- Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a compassionate, kindly friend, offering gentle understanding and support for the experience you’re going through.
- Imagine a cherished friend is suffering through something such as acute sleep disruption and exhaustion. Imagine what you might say to that dear friend to help them feel validated and supported?
- Picture a kindly family member like a grandmother or an aunt who found out you were struggling. What might they say to you? Now, turn those words inward and offer them to yourself. It’s like giving yourself a warm hug from the inside out.
Explore Resources
Uncover a treasure trove of self-compassion resources, from guided meditations by experts like Dr. Kristin Neff to exclusive self-kindness meditation audios created by The Sleep Sphere.
In Conclusion
Self-compassion isn’t a luxury reserved for the fortunate few or a ‘woo-woo’ practice; it’s a transformative tool that is free, evidence-based, and accessible to all! Embrace the power of self-kindness, and watch as it unlocks the door to easier sleep.
Image credit: GiuliaBertelli/Unsplash